So a couple months ago I remember telling a friend that Clark doesn't really throw tantrums..WRONG! Savanna was throwing some tantrums now she is being an angel and Clark is being a pill! I'm hoping it is just the move or him getting his molars but the last month Clark has been very difficult! He is whiny, demanding, throws a fit when he does not get what he wants, is particular, wants to be independent but gets upset when he can't do something on his own. He honestly is really testing my patience. Today he had the melt downs of all melt downs. I ran to the dollar store to get a card and some candy for my friend whose birthday is tomorrow. Well him and Savanna wanted to push a cart and I said they could as long as they weren't running into things. Maybe that was my first mistake. They were following me and were not running into anybody but then they were fighting over it and hitting each other with the carts. I gave them three warnings to stop and they didn't so I put the carts back. Clark had an absolute fit. He would not stay near me and kept running back to the carts to try to get them. So I scooped him up and wrestled with him while I hurried through the check out line to pay for my stuff. Maybe I should have just left but I really wanted to get this and knew I wouldn't have any time tomorrow because we have a very busy day. A nice lady let me in front of her while he continued to lash and scream. Then I carried him to the car where I had an extremely hard time getting him in his car seat because he kept throwing a fit. It is must harder for me to control him when I am pregnant because I'm not as strong and I try to be careful because I don't want him to be kicking me in the stomach and hurt the baby! I was getting very frustrated and was physically shaking as I struggled with him to get him in his car seat. It literally probably took me at least ten minutes to get him in. When I finally got him in a nice lady came and asked if she could help. She told me she had a son who threw fits all the time and to hang in there and take deep breaths. It is nice to see how understanding people are of children who are misbehaving because I feel like the idiot mom who can't control my kid! Then he screamed the whole way home. I decided to put him in his room because I was still super annoyed with him and he was still screaming and he wouldn't stay in his room so I held his door shut for 20 minutes until he calmed down. Seriously the whole fit lasted almost an hour. It was exhausting and ended with tears on my part as well!!
I really hope he gets out of this soon because it is really wearing on me! I think with being pregnant and us moving very soon it is just even more hard to handle. Then sometimes I lose my patience and yell at him and then I feel like terrible afterwards. In my defense I don't yell mean things to him or call him names it's usually "STOP IT!" "Mommy can't take this anymore!" "This is not acceptable!" "You can't act this way!" Still I think yelling is counterproductive and just infuses the situation more with conflict and I really don't like doing it. I picked up a book in Kid to Kid the other day and turned to a page that said Never yell at your children. It permanently scars them. Whisper instead. Great. So now on top of everything else I have to worry that I am permanently scarring my children? I really want to get through this life without ever having raised my voice to my kids but sadly I can't say that is true. I have to learn how to be easier on myself though. I really love my kids and I do my best but sometimes it feels like it is not good enough. Ugh. Sometimes this parenting thing is just plain HARD!!!
And I just open about my weaknesses. I think it helps us as moms to know when other moms struggle. Or if you have never had the same struggles I have had it just makes you feel better about yourself! So either way I feel like it is helpful. And if any of you have any great ideas on defusing tantrums or getting through them without losing your mind that would be great. Savanna never threw a lot of tantrums. I feel inexperienced!
