Moderation in all Things

So one of my good friend's from grad school who is now an amazing therapist gave me some great advice the other night. Since it was "free therapy" and I won't reveal any personal details I thought I would share some of her great wisdom with you. I was talking to her about how I always feel like it is hard to "balance" my life. I feel like I try so hard to be the perfect wife, the perfect mom, the perfect friend, etc, etc, and I never quite measure up. I also feel like it is so much harder to balance my time since becoming a mom. It seemed easy when I only had to take care of myself but now I'm trying to take care of 4 people including myself and it is a lot harder to balance all of that. (How do people have 5+ kids? I don't know but I commend you.) Anyway, my friend really put things into perspective to me. She explained that although we are striving for perfection that we will never reach it in this life and that is ok. She told me that to be "perfect" in one area we would be most likely neglecting other areas so therefore we should be "moderate" in all areas. She explained that to be balanced we should contribute a "moderate" effort in all the areas of our lives that are most important to us. Therefore right now a "moderate" effort is good enough not a perfect one. And who really defines perfection? Often it is ourselves and we usually set our expectations so high that they are pretty much impossible to reach. At least I know I do. Well my friend explained to me that at the end of a day or week if your house is "moderately" clean, you have spent a "moderate" amount of time exercising, have spent a "moderate or as much time possible" of quality time with your family and other loved ones and a "moderate" amount of time on your spirituality then you have been successful (again these are areas of my life that are important to me right now. You can focus on those that are most important to you). Anyway, I think I knew all these things but I just needed the extra reassurance. This conversation also got me thinking about the fact that I can't do everything I want to at once. This is good advice for me. I actually am very sequential in my life: I finished my undergraduate degree, got married, went to grad school, then had kids. I feel like when I'm trying to do too many important things at once that I get overwhelmed because I'm not giving them my best effort. I think that is often true in all of our lives. All of us know our limits and I try not to push myself past that point. I also need to remember that I will have time to do all the personal goals I have for myself. I have chosen to be a stay at home mother and this feels like the best decision for me. (Again I said for me. I know this is a very personal choice). However, I still sometimes feel a bit nostalgic for the times that I was in school or I think about how I am not currently using my education. I really do have a passion for my area of study and I miss it sometimes. However, I love being at home with my kids. But I have to remind myself that there will be times to pursue my personal goals later. I can work later, I can go back to school. Again, for some people all of these things may come at the same time. But for me I just need to remember that my kids are not going to be small forever and I should cherish it and remember that one day they will be grown and I will wonder, " Now what?" But it will not be too late to pursue what I want to do. Anyway, that was a long winded kind of soap box post. I just was thinking a lot about all of this today and felt like writing it down.